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So the question is - DO YOU BELIEVE IT PAY'S TO BE HONEST ?
And does Fear and or Danger play a Role in the decision making to be dishonest ?
I do Agree with Joachim DePosada that a lot of people Lie out of Fear and Or Danger... There are quite a few degrees of difference between Fear and Danger -
Are You in Fear of ?
A- Hurting somebody's feelings ?
B- Losing a Friend, Job, Spouse etc... ?
C- Being Physically Hurt ?
Obviously, A & B are very Different than C however, if one's Emotions are running high - to some A & B could feel like C. They could feel like they are being personally attacked.
Regardless, of whether it is A, B or C - I, personally believe "HONESTY"
is Key in all communications, and that in the end, it is for the greater good.
And... YES... I am NOT perfect and I am sure when I was a Child I said my share of Lie's and even as an adult I know I have in the past told some lies for the same reasons listed in A, B and C.
And... I am speaking from personal experience as I have personally been in the situations of A, B & C... Yes even "C" and when I was in "C" it wasn't until I was willing to be COMPLETELY "HONEST" that I was actually SAVED... And... the Cost was Extremely High... I Lost everything in the process - Friends, Family, House etc... Long Story, I did write a blog about it, however let's not get sidetracked, and get back to this Blog post.
Was it worth it ? Absolutely 100% Yes... I got my life back literally...
Today, however I have to say... I truly do attempt to be HONEST regardless of the cost and here are some of the tools I use to that, and I will also share a Story that just recently happened.
*Speak from a Compassionate Passionate Place.
*Be Clear on Your Intention before engaging in the discussion.
*What is the Purpose of this conversation.
*Are you Attempting to PROVE Your Point ?
*Or Are You wanting to Improve a situation that will help empower
both parties ?
*Look at the person's body language.
*Are they going to be OPEN to hearing what you have to say.
*Tap into Your Multi-Sensory Awareness.
*Do they have their Arms crossed in front of their chest ?
*Are they raising their voice ?
*Are they automatically responding with a defense tone ?
Personally, I also ask someone if they are "OPEN" to Feedback and Immediately let them now that I TOO... am OPEN to all feedback... And I also never use the word "BUT" when I am sharing feedback as the word "BUT" tends to create more triggers...
Example: See if you can feel and or hear the difference in this sentence....
"I Love You, But..."
"I Love You, And..."
When we say the Word "BUT" the unconscious inner child comes up with waiting for the other shoe to drop if you will... We are waiting for the Criticism or we are thinking OH NO... here comes the... and then what happens is the person's ARMOR goes up and they are MORE on the defensive and ARE NOT going to hear what you are saying...
Versus when we use the Word "AND"... it is a much Softer word and ALLOWS
for more communication to happen...
"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Biggest challenges in Speaking Honestly is NOT allowing yourself to go to two places:
2- Taking things Personally
Ask Questions instead of assuming and... Realize that we are all UNIQUE beings with UNIQUE perspectives on Life... and what might mean one thing to us might mean something COMPLETELY different to somebody else...
Always Attempt to do important Feedback in Person.
I always ATTEMPT to do feedback in PERSON or if I have to, the next best choice is via Phone...
Text, Emails etc... are literally like opening Pandoras box if you will...
Text and Or Emails and even the phone sometimes does not fully portray and or convey Full Intentions or Emotions.
In all relationships... Say THANK YOU, and Give Praise, Inspiration, and Empowerment as Often as possible.
So, here is an example of a Recent Actual Facebook situation where I held true to being Honest and Authentic:
An old friend who I had a Falling out with decided to Block me on Facebook,
and when I was asked by various Mutual Friends I told them the TRUTH about why I had "Unfriended him" and then eventually I had to "Block" the person.
That person went onto to spreading some "UNTRUTHS" and even posted a "RANT" on their wall. As a result, some of our "MUTUAL" Friends unfriended ME and even "BLOCKED" Me...
So, I attempted to reach out via Phone with not much success and then eventually emailed a few people and asked "Why" and that is when I found out about the person's untruthful rant. I then proceeded to tell them my Truth and my side, however; since they had been friends with this person longer, they still choose to side with the other person... UNTIL...that person's TRUE Colors started to show... AND... I got an Email which then led to a Phone call saying... "I and the others are Soooo Sorry we didn't believe You... We have since found out You were telling the truth... Please forgive Us, we feel so bad... You have never done anything to hurt us and You are such an amazing person..." I was also asked to please add them as friends again.
I said no problem and that I understood, and that I was glad they finally saw the person's true colors and added them back as friends per their request.
I also wrote a blog post on Social Media Etiquette, as a lot of problems can arise if you don't follow a few simple rules.