Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Did I just Say that ???



On a recent post I read, the person replayed her day of a string of events including the losing of Car keys that got lost in the process of frustration. She later recognized the behavior and was actually surprised by some of it.  - The end result being that as soon as she Left go of everything (Frustration etc) the keys were quickly recovered.

So, the question is, has this every happened to You ?
And...
Who Controls our Reactions in times of stress ?

First things first, regardless of how much self-growth you have done, NLP, Hypnosis, Behavior Recognition, Behavior Modification etc... We have ALL had those moments of OMG... Did I just say and or do that...

What basically happens during times of Distress is our bodies go to two places:
1- The unconscious - Old behaviors will come up, sometimes even very early childlike behaviors.
2- Under extreme distress - The Flight or Flee alarm goes off.
Your body is designed to do whatever it takes to protect you from the presumed or actual threat.

There is also an actual Chemical Reaction that is happening - Our Cortisol (Stress Hormone) goes up, we start to sweat, our heart starts to beat faster etc...

Example of this: 
Why do you think they ask a Pregnant woman and her partner to pre-pack a bag and keep it in the car and to actively rehearse the action steps agreed upon for when the time comes they need to get to the Hospital.

It is because they know that when the moment arrives, emotional reactions will take over the action steps they have agreed upon.

So again I ask Who is in Control of our Reactions ?

While Yes it is true under extreme situations we might have the offbeat reaction one that we never anticipated, there are steps we can take to MINIMIZE them...
Let's face it, unless you have been trained for Extreme situations and are an:
Crisis Intervention Expert, A Fire Fighter, EMT, etc... chances are you are going to have some behavior come up that you would not expect.


Here are just a few of the Steps to take even before any events happen.
-Choose to Live a Life of Compassion and Kindness.
-Pay attention to what triggers You.
-Start becoming actively involved in catching yourself when a trigger starts.
-Learn some self NLP- Neuro Linguistic Programming.
-Learn some self Hypnosis techniques.


Here are just a few of the Steps we can take when under active stress:
-Step away from the situation and do something else.
-Step away from the situation and just Breathe, taking 3 Deep Breathes in and out makes a huge difference, it instantly starts to calm your nervous system down.
-Call a meeting to discuss the situation with all involved.
-If it is just You in the situation alone, do the breathing and step away.
-If You are actively involved in an intense situation and are alone, go seek the help of others.

Another Midnight Production
Enjoy the Journey
©2013 Carly Alyssa Thorne 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Is it Criticism or Feedback ?


Is it Criticism or Feedback ?
And Do You agree with this quote ?

"Criticism is something we can avoid easily 
by saying nothing, doing nothing, 
and being nothing."
~ Aristotle



I can agree with the Avoiding because you can CHOOSE to not be around people that are constantly Negative or Critical...  And I can agree to disagree... And I get that the quote when it is saying "being nothing" means to go to the space of just being PRESENT and NOTHING else... hence being Nothing...
Soooo, What I would Like to Address is...
Is it Criticism or Feedback ???
and...
The Doing Nothing...

In my personal Opinion we have a CHOICE to view things said to us as Criticism or Feedback...  Positive or Negative or... as Information in which
we get to Learn, Play and Grow from... and that the informations is neither Good or Bad if you will... It is what it is... Information...

I LOVE feedback as it gives me CHOICES...
I can choose to Learn from the feedback
I can actively implement the feedback
I can say NEXT..

OR... I can
Get Pissy about it
Vent about it
Bite back
etc...

Now it also helps Immensely if the person has learned some skills in the Compassionate Passionate Communication department as well...  
Telling someone they are an SOB is very different then telling them, You know I really don't appreciate that behavior or tone etc...


Now onto the DOING NOTHING:
I think SOCIETY as a whole has gone too Extreme in the 
DO or DO NOT DO... Dept...
(I have written several blogs about it... The Principle of the Both AND... Mentality...)
AND...
I think they both serve a purpose, have a place....
I don't think sitting idle when someone is damaging your career, 
life with vicious
attacks on your name and or reputation solves anything either...
AND...
I don't think CURSING at the person and calling them an ASS
etc... is the answer either....

AND...
I agree that LIFE requires ACTIVE DOING Participation in our LIFES... 
if we are planning on achieving success at anything whether it be:
Health, Wealth, Relationships, Spirituality etc...

No different than the ASK and Receive Principes and Metaphysics...
Truly the whole Principle and Concepts can be debated endlessly...
And the debates would be endless on Faith, Belief, Energy,
Work Hard, No short cuts etc... etc... etc...
AND...
I have Personally seen BOTH ways Work for BOTH 
parties the ones more Western and Logical and 
the ones more Eastern and Spiritual...
So... WHO IS RIGHT ?
I will go back to
It is what it is, based on YOUR Reality and Perception...



Enjoy the Journey...
Another Midnight Production
©CarlyAlyssaThorne