Friday, September 7, 2012

Who do you have in Your Life, that helps hold you accountable ?

The World of Self-Development Courses
Integrity ???  Yes ???
No ???

I have had many people ask me why I left California in 2004, and moved to Hawaii, and haven't really talked about it much... Very few know the real reason, and due to many "NDA" -Non disclosure agreements I can't say specifics, however, I will address some HUGE why's as is related to this article.

Having been on and off the stage in Numerous facets in my life from Acting, Modeling, Speaking, Producing and Directing etc... and having been an Executive Personal Assistant to CEO's, Families, and Speakers and having growing up overseas myself with a father who was a High level CEO, I can talk from direct experience about the many integrity issues within these worlds.

Now let me "PRE-FRAME" this with I was NOT born with a Silver Spoon in my mouth, in the way ONE would think, having had a father who was a High level CEO.  My family LIFE was more of a Disney "Cinderella" movie minus the happy ending... I have lived in Mansion's with body guards, drivers, maids etc... and I have lived in the middle of the jungle in an octagon, off of the land with an out house...  I have also lived strictly doing Barter.  

One of the things growing up overseas and going to MANY schools, traveling all of the time, being in a highly dysfunctional family which is an ENTIRE book in itself -did do for me was get me Clear on a FEW MAJOR KEY LIFE LESSONS and POINTS... which will tie back to the Speaker Industry and Courses and Integrity...

ONE- You can have all of the MONEY in the WORLD and that does not Guarantee: top Education, Health, a Happy, Loving home life, nor does it mean you are SAFE...

TWO- Adapt, Adjust, Absorb to everything and everyone. Be open to all points of views, Learn, Play and Grow constantly...  I learned a TON from my environment, all the different cultures, races, monetary levels etc... 

THREE- The biggest classroom and education is through actual LIVING and DOING, NOT just a formal education.

FOUR- You are Your biggest Asset... Fight for Yourself, advocate for Yourself, because nobody else will do it for You.  I am NOT saying be a LONE Island, I am Passionate about "TEAMWORK"- what I am saying is YOU need to Create Your Team, Your Family, Speak when nobody else will and get the Help you may need...  

Another PRE-FRAME... I am NOT advocating being Vocally Loud, protesting etc... I have learned that those that are LOUDLY screaming about Politics and this and that, Energetically are NO better than the people creating war etc...  

I PERSONALLY, believe what we focus on expands and that everything is Vibration thus we draw to ourselves that which we are vibrating AND... that it is a blend of environment, circumstance, paths, upbringing, family etc... 

HOWEVER... at some point if we don't take charge and accountability for OUR OWN lives, our pasts, our mistakes, circumstances, playing the VICTIM- the sick, poor, rape, etc... card will only serve to take you deeper into despair and hopelessness...  Not that I don't empathize or understand those positions and or feelings... I have been there... in more ways than one... Again another book...  So back to the Speaking Industry and Integrity...

The self-development industry in as big as the Weight loss industry. All of the books, CD's, Courses, Speakers, Products, everybody wanting the "Secret", "The Quick Fix", the "Magic Pill" 

You go to a Seminar, and there are these AMAZING speakers on stage with their AWESOME stories of this and that... I used to be Poor, I lived on the street, I was unhealthy, overweight etc... etc... etc... and NOW look at Me... Then of course there are the TESTIMONIES...  Great... NOW... That's talk Statistics, Tactics, and Sales...

Now would YOU buy or mentor from someone who: claimed that they could make you a MILLIONAIRE if they had never been one... Or teach you about Health and Fitness when they are on stage with a pot belly...  I personally wouldn't, to me that is like a "Priest" no offense, Counseling about Marriage and kids when the Priest has never been married or had a child.  Thankfully Pastors in some faiths are now allowed to experience marriage and children.
Now back to my point...

I left the industry because I got Soooo... beyond tired of seeing, hearing, and working for people who would say ONE thing on stage and the minute they got off the stage and or work, in their private lives the VERY thing they were Charging and or getting paid THOUSANDS for they would be doing and or saying the EXACT Opposite... 

AND...  because statistics show that 85% of the participants when they GOT home the Courses they bought - which were sold using the "SCARCITY TACTICS" The first 50 people who get back to the table now, will get these ADDED Bonuses etc... etc... etc...  NEVER got used, they would wind up on the bookshelves not EVEN opened and or read... AND... most of these people were THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of DOLLARS in debt from all the courses they have purchased in hopes of this or that...  

I have heard these Stories over and over...  When in the seminar environment there is all of this HIGH level of Energy etc... however, once people get home the very environment and life that has created their issues are RIGHT smack in their face the very next morning, and they go right back into their old patterns and or ruts... 

This is what I Would LOVE to see in the self-development industry and what I have done when personally Consulting, Mentoring and or Coaching...   Why Not instead of Focusing on getting THOUSANDS into a seminar twice a year, focus on getting Hundreds into a Seminar many more times a year... and...  Why not Package into the programs the accountability Coaching...  Personally when I work with a company and or client, I want to know that they are actually going to USE and Implement  what I just taught them or the blue print I put together for them.

Yes, a lot of the big seminar companies do have Coaching Programs however, most participants don't get the coaching, because it is an ADDITIONAL Cost... What I am saying is - WHY is it extra ??? Why NOT have all programs come with the accountability coaching ??? 

What is accountability coaching:
-There are various blue prints for accountability coaching, another article.
-The ones I have found to be more successful are the ones that are NOT OVERLY time consuming and are Team oriented, not just the one on one coaching.  And... are beyond just the Mastermind Teleconference calls etc...

Bottom line, I have massively studied and taken, crewed, volunteered and worked on MANY, many programs... and done a lot of research and this is what I have discovered:
-People are tired of everything being automated
-People are tired of all of the endless conference calls
-People are Starved for HUMAN interaction
-People want RESULTS that are NOT going to REQUIRE massive time and money...
-NOT all people are the same, meaning the programs need to be Tailored to that specific person and or company. Some people learn best by reading, others by listening, others by doing etc... 

After being asked over and over and over by some clients I decided to take on another project... Putting together a unique blue-print that is TEAM oriented that has LOTS Of human interaction that DOES  NOT require massive amounts of time and can be tailored to the specific needs to individuals and or a team.

The ONE key secret I have found that works magic is, believe it or not; is DAILY interaction - however... the daily interaction is a very small amount of time, yet serves to maintain the accountability factor and then adding in the weekly interaction to anchor the daily interactions... the daily interactions is a mere 15 minutes a day, and the weekly interaction is just an hour a week or more if Needed depending on the tasks and or outcome the person and or company is seeking...  The rest is a Recipe that is being cooked as we speak...

WOULD LOVE your thoughts and or experiences within the HUGE World of
Self-development courses... And if you have any WISHES AND OR IDEAS or suggestions that you would LIKE to see developed within the Self-Development Course World.... Please let me know... All Feedback is Welcome...

"We are the Actors/Actresses, Writers, Editors, Producers, Directors, Co-Creators of Our Lives, we can create anything, anytime... Let's Do it."  
Carly Alyssa Thorne

Another Midnight Production - The Muses of Carly Alyssa Thorne © 2012 


  1. Replies
    1. Carly's blog is so inspirational. Take a moment to read through it. You will you will walk away with thoughts to share!! Pay it forward!!

    2. Thanks Danielle... I hope to inspire and empower MANY to say YES they CAN...

  2. There is absolutely so much truth to your article! It definitely resonated with me for sure!! It was great timing too as I am in process of developing a program specifically for women to empower them on money matters. My priority is getting them results not just "selling" them the program. Also, structuring the program in a way that is not overwhelming and doable is women we have so much going on that it needs to be sweet, short, to the point, but provide great value! Thanks for your article.

    1. Thank You Jennnifer... I look forward to hearing more about your program...

  3. Carly, wonderful insight. Thank you for sharing. You are right...we are motivated enough to buy the programs and the books, then they just sit there. Many need to be held accountable to someone so they can put the programs to work. Perhaps finding a partner would be a step in the right direction.

    1. Yes... I having the buddy system is imperative in all aspects of LIFE...

  4. I enjoyed your words, because it makes us think about ourselves, and inner strength that we have. So we should do not let others determine our destiny and our goals.We must not lose confidence in ourselves and define our goals and look to the future with optimism.

    1. Thank YOU and I agree... We are powerful beyond what we think... I wish everyone to realize the inner VOICE they have is one that everybody is waiting to hear...Everybody learns something from everybody...

  5. Integrity is the word that you began with that really stuck out!!! In the business world I know there should be classes on reciprocation. It's amazing to me just how selfish some entrepreneurs can be. Of course we are all involved in many networking groups either in person or on FB. Some don't know how to hand out business cards, receive business cards and or share on FB. Quite interesting!!!

    1. While I don't like to generalize using words like this group or that group are this or that... I used the self-development industry as a way to WAKE People up to the fact that they need to make better CHOICES for SELF and learn the "LET'S DO IT PRINCIPLE" creating team, a buddy system etc... or DO NOT buy something or a service YOU are NOT going to use... A complete waste and disservice to everybody's time including SELF....

  6. Great insight. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thanks, and I would LOVE to hear what really stuck out for you...

  7. Thanks everyone for the Comments... AND I Would still LOVE to hear if you have any WISHES AND OR Suggestions YOU would LIKE TO SEE within the Self-Development World and or in an Accountability Coaching Program...

  8. Good topic, one that everyone needs to reflect upon but only a very few do. In my life, God holds me accoutable. Whenever I try to do something I try to remember that God is watching me and going to judge me on judgement day!

    1. Thank You Zapric.... Blessings to You as well....

  9. I enjoy reading the thoughts and insights that you share. I'm not personally familiar with self development courses. However, my best friend, who happens to be my sister, holds me accountable. We speak daily and give unconditional support to one another. I feel very fortunate to have her in my life!

    1. You are LUCKY Indeed Shannon not everybody has a close relationship with family and or siblings...

  10. hmmmm ... i strongly believe in Karma ... so, i guess i have the entire world, holding me accountable.

  11. Carly, I really appreciate this post. I share the same viewpoints that you do - I pulled away from the self-help motivational industry for several years because the lack of integrity was damaging my spirit. So much that is put out there is smoke and mirrors with intentionally false marketing. I've personally witnessed well-known 'gurus' admit that their stories were falsified to add more drama to be appealing... and seen how they print books about helping others, but can cold-heartedly shut the door in the face of a distraught 'fan'.

    In this particular industry, so many people will buy the program or book, and never make it past the first chapter. Then, in a few months, they will seek out a quick fix, buy another book and repeat the cycle. The key is helping them implement the program... to apply it in their lives... to be REAL and to stay engaged. At least, that's how I'm approaching my own project - helping others take off the masks they hide behind.

    I admire that you've got your heart and soul invested in your projects and your message. In so many ways, our passion projects are aligned. I'm watching what you and some of our other mutual friends are creating and I am delighted to rub shoulders with you!

    In the back of my mind, the inkling of an idea is rolling around to create some kind of collaboration which features authentic, transparent leaders who walk their walk. :)

    1. HI Unknown LOL... Why don't you email me and we can chat.. and then we can exchange phone numbers... I am all about Collaboration, Sharing, Teamwork etc... WE might be able to do something together... I have been in the self development industry specifically since 1995 however in the field since 1986.


Thanks for taking the Time to Read our Post...

All feedback is welcome as it gives us the opportunity to Learn, Play, and Grow each and every day...

"We are the Actors/Actresses, Writers, Editors, Producers, Directors, Co-Creators of Our Lives, we can create anything, anytime... Let's Do it." Carly Alyssa Thorne