Saturday, November 3, 2012

Social Media: Who-Why-When-What-How Etiquette

Social Media: 
Who-Why-When-What-How Etiquette

I am an Open book when comes to my Life Experiences as I have always found it to be of help for many, and I also share about my own personal growing pains, mistakes, mis-judgements etc... as I truly feel we all Learn and Grow thru each other's Trials, Tribulations and Celebrations...

Most don't know I have a deep background in On Line Reputation Management and a background in Private Detective work and research- Thus my Passion with the studies of the Multi-Sensory, the Human Mind, Psychology, the bridging of the Eastern and Western technologies of the Mind, Body, Business, Spirit interconnectedness  within the walls of a computer and the worlds from Poverty to Fame and all in between...  Having grown up overseas, and traveling a lot also prepared me to have a Mind like a sponge and when to be the fly on the wall and to just strictly observe everything, so all of this came quite naturally to me.

I have also gone under cover a few times in intense situations, I of course can not get into massive details and or names due to NDA-Non-Disclosure Agreements and for various other reasons and I only bring this up so I can now get into the Social Media Etiquette title above of:

Social Media:Who-Why-When-What-How Etiquette
This is my Shorter Version as the topic is a Huge one.
I would also like to pre-frame this article with that I am not Perfect, nor do I claim to be and these are just my Personal Opinions...

Let us begin with the WHO:

Who You interact with, within the Social Media Internet world is truly vital to your integrity as a person and for business and most people just accept friendships blindly without doing their homework.

People also just share and post things because they are in Social Media Sharing groups without thought to the outcomes of not only the content they are sharing however also, who is that person you are sharing is about.

Things to think about:
Have you actually gone to that person's page and seen what they post
on their Personal Page, not just their business pages ?

Have you googled them ?
Do you know them Personally ?
Talked via Phone or email ?

WHY: A few Why's on Social Media

First let me address Why is it important to know WHO you are associating with and what you are sharing etc...

Whether we like it or not Companies, friends, and others are actively goggling you, checking out your Pages, what is being posted, who you are interacting with etc... There are plenty of articles out there about it... Don't be naive to think that people in this day and age are not checking and it can cost you not only your bottom line, it can also cost you friendships and more....

Now let us address:
Why you are choosing to Participate in Social Media Groups, Platforms etc...

If You are just signing up to a lots of platforms for a Social Media score and or that if you are everywhere that, that is marketing Yourself, you are fooling not only yourself, others... If, You are signing up for other platforms get clear on Why and get help to delegate so you actually have a presence on all of them.   Now, I am not perfect, I have many platforms, I am clear as to the why, however, I am still working on the delegation and team to manage it in an authentic NON automated way to manage them all.

WHY to Automate or Not automate.
For me: Social Media- The word says SOCIAL not machine... hence
I am not a person who thinks highly of the automation created within the Social Media world.  I have several things to say about that.

One- If you are a small company and or just a Person start small, only take on
the platforms you can honestly handle and hire a Virtual or Personal assistant to help you, that you teach how you want your accounts handled... You write out your own Thank You's, Birthdays etc.. so it is in Your own style of phrasing and or wording and all they are doing is cutting and pasting Your words, and have a list of Key clients, friends, and or family that only YOU handle.

Two- If You are a big company, Hire a bigger Real people staff to handle it.

WHEN to Un-friend, Block, Stand up for oneself, warn others etc...

Now, this is another one that most people truly do not handle well. We are all human and sometimes certain people may push our buttons and in the heat of the moment we do not think.  

Let me say that there are people that live on the internet in a bubble and that is all they do and some are not who they say they are.  I have heard, and researched and worked on many cases of stolen Identity, People stealing other people's intellectual property, stealing quotes and putting their name as the author, saying they have mentored this person or that person and even have quotes on their profiles from famous people endorsing them only to find out they are false.  

Now- here is where it gets tricky: When to Un-friend, Block, and or warn.
A lot of people when they have gotten blindsided, hurt, and or stolen from, just turn a blind eye and I have to say there is a balance to that.  

An example, although; this is an extreme example will validate my point quite loud and clear.  I get that most people like to sweep things under the carpet because they are embarrassed etc... however what if you child got molested by a neighbor and because of your pride, ego etc... you just choose to NOT say anything, you are now responsible for knowing that, that person might do it to somebody else.  

It is an interesting time with People's Psychology of terms:
*** What you focus on expands
***Let people fall on their faces by themselves

In doing my research and talking to people some will say they don't feel they need to do anything because of the above phrases etc...  

My take is this: I feel an obligation to warn, then it is up to the person and or people to do whatever they feel they are comfortable with...

If You know an individual is stealing quotes, lying about this and that, and now has gone onto your wall and friended your friends and is now singing his web of stories to your friends at what point do you think you might choose to step up and say, just a warning, you do what you want, however, I care and I am just watching your back.

In those extreme cases sometimes blocking a person is best so that they can't harass and or just start friending your friends. However, blocking also has it's disadvantages, and some just block to block which I find quite childish. If you don't like someone or something that has happened, just un-friend them, you don't need to block them.  Blocking is for serious issues... 


Bottom Line All Studies show we are Visual beings, so Posts that are Visual with a Message seem to get absorbed by our brains much quicker and with a bigger impact...  Also, A Short Witty Comment with a Link will do better than just a plain Quote and or comment.  People forget that just seeing words and the vast diversity of cultures and people and the phrasing and or lack of can mean a lot of things to different people and doesn't show the emotion of what you may be attempting to say. This is another reason why images are so much more powerful it gives your message context, content, feeling, and visual.

That being said, what types of Images and Posts are better and what ratios etc...
Many Studies, many opinions... and depends on the platform you are on.
Pinterest, G+, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter etc...

My personal opinion across all platforms is balance, I personally cannot stand to go even to a Business page and all I see is Check this blog out, check this seminar out, Buy this, Read this etc... etc... etc...  

Yes, Of course you want to Promote what You do, however, people are curious in nature and also want to get to know who YOU are as a person and find out what makes you tick, what your personality is like, what you have done, where you have been etc...  Therefore, I find posting a cross section of things that show your personality, your values, and your banners, blogs etc... shows a more authentic Picture about Who you and or your company is all about.

To Wrap this up I will address a bit of the HOW:
***Be authentic
***Do your homework
***When dealing with controversy, don't just email -words on paper mean many different things to many and also how they read and or receive information, make a phone call, ask if they are willing to have an open conversation of open feedback to resolve the issue. 

***Realize also that in emailing there have been cases of people then posting what you have emailed and altering what you have written etc... not a good thing, be prepared to back up what you have said and why.

***Keep Heated subjects off of your walls, blogs etc... that may cause 
heated emotions and or reactions.  
Personally, I do not post about Politics, Overt Sexuality, My Personal Romantic Relationships, MLM's, and Activism.

***Make sure to set your settings across all platforms to MODERATE all comments.
Hint: On YouTube every time you upload a new video you have to hit the moderate comments, as sometimes it forgets your settings.

***Don't take things for granted go back monthly and check your settings to make sure they are on moderate.

***Post a diversity of content

***Most of all Be Passionate about What you Do, What You say, and be as Authentic, Open, as you dare...

Another Midnight Production
Enjoy the Journey
Carly Alyssa Thorne


  1. Social media as in any other personal to business action always requires maintaining positive core values through the demonstration of your business etiquette. Unfortunately, far too many people are clueless and believe social media marketing is a substitute for selling.

  2. I love your tips Carly! It is important to know how to use social media and you are so right on all.

    1. Thanks Tereza... People do not realize how important this is...

  3. Hi Carly

    I've been thinking about this
    my self. You have hit the head
    on the nail with what you have
    said here.

    Bonnie Squires

  4. Thank you for reminding people to put back the social in social media. Yes we realize that many people are online to sell something, but please let's temper some of that with being social.

  5. When people use their pages to sell aggressively, they lose more sales than they make.

  6. Definitely agree that constant selling is out of place on social feeds. It's also frustrating when friends want you to share hard sell messages -- I have a clear picture of what I will share where, and that rarely includes hard sell products.

    1. Yes Lynn Deanne I agree on that as well... If somebody wants me to share a specific thing that I don't feel comfortable sharing, I will like the post yet find something else to share that does resonate...

  7. You need to be out there socializing first and let others realize that you care about THEM before you go nuts on your sales pitch. If people are interested they will be attracted to what you have to offer them. And yes I hear you about being on a million platforms. I can't even count how many I am on either but at the same time, I know which ones matter to me the most and spend the most time on those... and get the most out of those as well.

    1. Absolutely Miriam.... and Yup... Way too many social platforms out there LOL


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All feedback is welcome as it gives us the opportunity to Learn, Play, and Grow each and every day...

"We are the Actors/Actresses, Writers, Editors, Producers, Directors, Co-Creators of Our Lives, we can create anything, anytime... Let's Do it." Carly Alyssa Thorne