CHOOSE YOU... Your Voice is Powerful...

SO- I got a lot of interesting and inspiring emails and responses to my blog article called:

WHO DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE THAT HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE...

CHOOSE YOU... Your crap only defines YOU If you LET IT... AT some point YOU are going to have to CHOOSE what You want in Your LIFE and WHO YOU want to be... It is WHAT YOU DO with Your Past crap that matters... WHAT TO YOU CHOOSE ???

Addressing in particular my sharing of bits of my life, so the Link above is the whole article and I have put in " BOLD QUOTES" below the areas that I got quite a few emails on.  I felt it might be good to address some of it for EMPOWERING others to realize that YOUR Voice is a CHOICE...


"Now let me "PRE-FRAME" this with I was NOT born with a Silver Spoon in my mouth, in the way ONE would think, having had a father who was a High level CEO.  My family LIFE was more of a Disney "Cinderella" movie minus the happy ending... I have lived in Mansion's with body guards, drivers, maids etc... and I have lived in the middle of the jungle in an octagon, off of the land with an out house...  I have also lived strictly doing Barter.  

One of the things growing up overseas and going to MANY schools, traveling all of the time, being in a highly dysfunctional family which is an ENTIRE book in itself -did do for me was get me Clear on a FEW MAJOR KEY LIFE LESSONS and POINTS... which will tie back to the Speaker Industry and Courses and Integrity...

ONE- You can have all of the MONEY in the WORLD and that does not Guarantee: top Education, Health, a Happy, Loving home life, nor does it mean you are SAFE...

TWO- Adapt, Adjust, Absorb to everything and everyone. Be open to all points of views, Learn, Play and Grow constantly...  I learned a TON from my environment, all the different cultures, races, monetary levels etc... 

THREE- The biggest classroom and education is through actual LIVING and DOING, NOT just a formal education.

FOUR- You are Your biggest Asset... Fight for Yourself, advocate for Yourself, because nobody else will do it for You.  I am NOT saying be a LONE Island, I am Passionate about "TEAMWORK"- what I am saying is YOU need to Create Your Team, Your Family, Speak when nobody else will and get the Help you may need...  

Another PRE-FRAME... I am NOT advocating being Vocally Loud, protesting etc... I have learned that those that are LOUDLY screaming about Politics and this and that, Energetically are NO better than the people creating war etc...  

I PERSONALLY, believe what we focus on expands and that everything is Vibration thus we draw to ourselves that which we are vibrating AND... that it is a blend of environment, circumstance, paths, upbringing, family etc... 

HOWEVER... at some point if we don't take charge and accountability for OUR OWN lives, our pasts, our mistakes, circumstances, playing the VICTIM- the sick, poor, rape, etc... card will only serve to take you deeper into despair and hopelessness...  Not that I don't empathize or understand those positions and or feelings... I have been there... in more ways than one... Again another book...  So back to the Speaking Industry and Integrity..."

A FEW THINGS have always stuck out for me in all of my years of on going Choices, Empowering of self and others and on going Research.  I want to address some of the key comments I have heard others receive, and comments and or experiences I myself personally received, even from direct relatives... 


So let me share a bit more about what Judgement people go thru and why a lot of people DON'T get out, or get help...

***PREFRAME*** I will be SHARING MY PERSONAL Experience and my Personal Opinions...

I am not a licensed M.D., or Psychologist . I am a Transformationalist Life Coach, Interfaith Minister, & Personal Business Consultant and have studied Massively in all areas of the Mind, Body, and Spirit - Everything from Philosophy, Psychology, Theology, Nutrition, Overall Wellness, Fitness, Metaphysics etc... and have numerous Certifications to back that up along with my LIFE experience in the field since 1982 when I started working in the Medical Field that evolved into the Business, Metaphysical, Healing, and Wellness field.

So here are some comments that I personally have received and experienced from close friends and relatives and have been told by other clients, women and men of issues that they too had to deal with. AND... even with all of this said because I COMPLETELY understand... at SOME POINT You are going to have to CHOOSE YOU... So read on...

A.***You must have liked the abuse because, if it was truly that bad, you would have found a way to get out...  you would have left.

B.***You had a wealthy family, therefore You could have gotten the help you needed...

C.***Why didn't you say anything...

D.***Some people don't have a choice, they have no money, support and or education...

E.***If you don't have money or resources there is NO way out...

F.***Didn't you realize what type of person he was before you married him or got involved...

G.***What... I don't buy that for a minute, I have met him and he isn't like that at all, you are just worrying about nothing...

H.***Your family doesn't believe anything you are saying, and You are the crazy one...

I will address each one as briefly as I can, as the topic of any abuse is a HOT one and I do not want to stir up a hornets nest... I want to address some KEY buttons and share WHY "CHOOSING YOU" and taking charge and accountability for YOUR LIFE... is sooo important...

A*** First of all what most people do NOT understand about abusive situations is the MOST dangerous and violent times are when You are planning your escape and or are reaching out for help.  You know how when a Dog senses your fear...  usually the abusers sense when you are up to something, and become much more controlling and or are supervising your every move and or are have others watch you for them...  

An example: When my ex-husband was literally following me around and even verbally threatened a counselor at a church, that if she helped me, he would off her, or the one time, he said to me while putting a gun to my head:
"I will never give you a divorce, if I can't have you, nobody can... I will kill you, kill myself, and then burn the house down." 

B*** Ah... Yes MONEY can solve everything... NOT... Believe it or NOT having a ton of MONEY can actually HIDE and BUY a lot of SILENCE, so that nobody knows what is going on inside the compound... so to speak.  And... in my experience, when there is a lot of money or people are WELL known or famous they don't want others knowing they have problems and don't want to be embarrassed etc...  

An example: Putting their kids in a Private hospital so nobody finds out stating that their child was mentally unstable or had drug issues... Sending their child away...  Saying their child was asking for trouble they hung out with the wrong crowd and was promiscuous etc... etc... etc...

C***I Love this one... Why didn't you say anything... Hm... 99% of the time people have, and nobody believed them or if they did say anything they GOT in more trouble, because the parents felt embarrassed that they didn't realize something was wrong, or didn't want others to find out, or just where in plain DENIAL...  

An example: I once told one of my teachers in 4th grade some of the things that were going on and they went and told my parents and I was blasted, called a liar, and HOW dare I embarass them like that... 

D*** and E*** Economic status and having NO resources has no barring on Abuse... bottom line if You want something badly enough I don't care if you have to CRAWL, like a drug addict having to bottom out, when you get so sick and tired of being sick, tired, bruised, abused, and wanting nothing more than to JUST DIE... ONE DAY you will have to make a CHOICE... Living or Dying... at some point you will have to CHOOSE Living and YOU... even if that means taking a RISK SOOOO BIG you might Die and lose everything You are, have and more... 

An Example: I had been secretly for 6 months complying evidence on the abuse and keeping detailed dates, times and records and had to hide everything and took the risk of bringing it to a counselor I had begun to trust at a Church, and said to her one day, here is everything you need to know, if I don't wake up alive one morning, you will know why.  I won't go into major details here- except that resulted in me losing EVERYTHING, my house, all of my money, my family, friends and more... However I finally CHOOSE ME, I stood up for myself even though I knew the cost would be EVERYTHING and it was...

F*** Most abusers are MASTER manipulators and smooth talkers.
When I met my Ex... he was at the same job for over 18 years, his family was amazing, he didn't drink, I lived with him for over a year... Then I bought a house and he moved into my house and my Life as I knew it was no more... I was now in HELL if you will...

G***Again amazing manipulators... my friends thought he was AWESOME... they didn't believe for a minute he was following me around, or keeping tabs on me, or controlling every aspect of my life etc... The web of lies were amazing...

H***Family denial and You are crazy...  No way and if it is that bad, why don't you leave... You have always been picky, you are the one with the problem etc... etc....

In all of the interviews I have done with people of all races, economic statuses, counselors, Pastors etc... The most common themes are:
People are afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, don't think anyone will believe them, are in such depression, fear, despair.... they just give up etc... get stuck on the HOW to get away... WHERE do I go... WHO do I trust... I can't... Nobody believes me... etc... etc... etc... and I too felt all of those same feelings and had the same questions...  

And at some point... You will have to Choose... 

LIFE OR DEATH...

Which do you Choose ???

Be willing to RISK Everything...

Be willing to FIGHT for yourself....

Be willing to say I don't care what others think....

Be willing to reach out and trust someone...

Be willing to NOT know how...

Be willing to have nothing...

Be willing to go where you have never gone before...

Be willing to LET GO of everyone and everything that NO LONGER

serves YOU...

Be willing to Run, Walk or CRAWL if you have to...

Just CHOOSE YOU....

You are worth it...

Others are waiting for the gift of YOUR Voice...

Your Unique gifts, your unique wisdom you have to offer the world...

We all have a Past...

We all have had issues...

So what...

Who cares...

If You aren't willing to put it all OUT there, the skeletons will come back to

haunt you...

Be willing to be HONEST...

Authentic...

Use your story not to become a LABEL... a statistic...

Use it to EMPOWER others...

To say YES You can...

Another Midnight Production and The Muses of Carly Alyssa Thorne

All Rights Reserved - Copyright ©2012 Carly Alyssa Thorne

DIETS-LOSING WEIGHT - WHAT ???

There is a Ton about me on my BLOG and WHY I can talk from FIRST hand experience... been there and done that... 90 lbs, 200 lbs etc... etc... etc... Now Let's talk...

3 Minute snippet on Health, Releasing and Empowerment... CLICK HERE to listen...

Here is what I  can I tell you about Health, Wellness and Fitness. First, I truly do not like the word, "diet", it doesn't sound fun at all and the terminology of "losing weight", seriously; the whole concept of losing weight to me is I lost something and my intention if I lose something  is, I am looking to find it; so why would I want the weight back.  I truly find that using words that are inspiring and empowering is one way to truly stick to something.  Health, Wellness and Fitness isn't a FAD it truly must become a lifestyle choice for it to become a main factor in your daily life.

MAJOR KEY:  TEAMWORK , COLLABORATION, SHARING
*Make sure to have a support system in place, find a buddy to do it with you, or make it a family project.

*Find at least TWO people who are totally willing to support you while you are going thru the shift that you can call when you need to.

*Join online support groups, there are so many free support groups for exercise and healthy eating.

BODY MOVEMENT BASICS: 
Honestly a lot of it is common sense seriously...

-Move your body everyday for at least 30 minutes and it is not necessary to go beyond an hour.  Everything in LIFE is a Balance too much to excess it NOT good, and neither is too little.  Again this usually DOES NOT Apply if you are an athlete or are using your body as a commodity, like modeling, etc... Athletes are training hours and hours a day, and they are also getting massive nutrition and proper training and I have my personal opinions that I will NOT get into here about how some of that is done to the determent of people's body and how their bodies are burnt out and a mess at a relatively YOUNG age, that applies to modeling as well, however this article is NOT about that.

-VERY IMPORTANT: any exercise it is all about quality and form, body alignment it is NOT about EGO and doing more reps and or weight with bad form and body alignment. Think of it as a dance, a dancer has to hit certain poses and their body is in alignment when doing so, they are also FLUID, not jerky, well okay hip hop or other dance forms might have some jerky movements in there... You get my point.  You want your hips, shoulders, head all facing forward an in alignment when exercising, even when you are walking.
I also suggest someone get a QUALIFIED person to walk them thru some routines where they are educating you on body alignment and form etc...

-Unless you are in a competitive sport or getting PAID to work out, or your body is your physical commodity and the way you make a living, there is NO need to do hours of cardio and gym time.

-Take a quick paced walk, go for a bike ride, whatever rocks your world fitness
wise, just truly commit to doing it for at least 30 minutes at least 5x a week.

-Food intake: again I could write a book on all the different things out there,

Raw, Vegan, Vegetarian, Eats fish and eggs yet no red meat, etc... etc... etc...

We make it Soooo Complicated, it truly doesn't have to be. The more complicated you make it the less chances you have of having a successful  outcome that you will be happy with and can sustain.

YOUR KITCHEN AND FOOD:

Before you do start anything it is a must that you go thru your kitchen and give away all of the food that is truly not good for you.  All the fake, processed, fatty, sweets etc...  there is NO way that you are going to follow thru on eating healthy if there is crap food in the house even it is other family members food or house mates food. You are going to have to have the whole household involved.

So depending on your living environment, if they are not willing to participate or help, sometimes is might mean making choices.  You might want to live with people that do care about what they eat etc.... It might mean you being the parent and adult and choosing to also get your kids and partner eating healthy.

ALL FOOD, Preferably: No pesticides, Organic if possible and NO Additives.

Definitely NO:
Fast food places, white flour, sugar, corn syrup, processed, pre packaged food, TV dinners, etc...etc...etc...  Come on folks we all know that fake sugars, all of the additives, candy, and all of the crap food is NOT good for us, so WHY eat it.

If you eat Whole Grain, Alive Food, you will have a ton of more energy and not crave the crap food.

Sugar is addictive and once you start eating that piece of cake it sends a signal to your brain with endorphins and you start craving more sweets. Trust me when you start to eat cleaner and cleaner your taste buds truly do shift. And... Nobody said your food has to taste bland.  There are so many amazing seasonings cumin, dill, pepper, oregano, parsley, garlic etc... etc... etc....

Think about this, if you had a friend that was an alcoholic you wouldn't hand that person a beer would you ?  So knowing that sugar is addictive and truly an out of control addiction for many, why would you knowingly give yourself let alone a person with eating issues something that was 100% Crap sugar like a processed artificial cookie and or piece of cake ?

HONOR and LOVE your body it is the ONLY one you have for this Lifetime if you believe in multiple lifes, like I do.

MORE BASICS:
*First basic math you must expend more energy or calories if you will, than you are eating... So honestly we all have our personal dogma when it comes to food, so again here are some basics:

*Eat 5-6 meals a day and don't skip to keep your metabolism active, when you skip meals your body freaks out and goes back to the OLD AGE times and stores your next meal because it doesn't know when you might or might not feed it so to speak, there is more to this scientifically involving sugars dropping and then when you finally eat blood sugar levels going up way too fast  etc... etc... etc... however again I don't want to make this complicated... Simple is KEY....

In the morning when you get up or the night before pack some snacks in baggies to make things easier. I will get into the Glycemic Index and sugar levels a bit below.

Your 5- 6 meals:
*Make sure to have 3 well balanced meals and 2-3 small snacks.
What do I mean by snacks: one apple, 1 large carrot cut up or 6-8 mini carrots with almond butter or peanut butter, 2 Large stalks of celery with almond butter or peanut butter, 1/4 raw almonds.  Almond butter is healthier for you because it is alkaline. 

Meals depending on your dietary preference:
Again basic common sense: Eat whole, alive, whole grains foods, tons of vegetables, and some fruit and if you eat meat, make it LEAN meat.
Enough food that you feel satisfied, not Stuffed, bloated...

SOME BASIC DIGESTION TIPS:
*Do not drink while you are actively eating, drink before a meal or after.
WHY ? because our body is a LAB so to speak and your mouth has natural digestive enzymes that when we CHEW help break down the food to make it is easier to digest. When we drink while we eat, we dilute those enzymes.

*It is best to eat FRUIT by itself, as when you mix it with other foods it tends to get fermented and sit in your belly.  You can eat Fruit it will be totally digested within 2 hours.  Also the most beneficial time for Fruit is mornings.

Also WATER first thing in the morning with lemon juice helps get your organs hydrated and jump started for the day and Lemons are alkalizing to your system. Which I will get into that a bit later too.  Lemons act as a blood sugar stabilizer and helps boost your metabolism and aids in digestion.  Great for your skin and lemons do contain some calcium

Like I said early our bodies are like one big LAB, or chemistry set and there are massive studies out there that state that disease or another term used is our body is out of harmony, when our food intake is primarily acidic. Ideally you want to eat 80% Alkaline 20 Acidic.  Again this is a topic of great discussion and another book so for now here is a basic chart and below the chart is a great resource link to dive more into it.

MORE ON ALKALINE VERSUS ACIDIC

NOW ONTO BIGGEST impact of Health and Wellness and the prevention of Insulin resistance or Pre-Diabetes, the Glycemic Index.

Bottom line the white processed foods, NON whole foods items and sweets etc are much highly on the Glycemic index and are also higher on the acidic side, not an accident as they are interrelated.

Great Resource with a Printable PDF all about the Glycemic Index

Nutrition and glycemic-index

So I will end here for now for more in depth education and detailed programs being tailored specifically to your body type etc... you can email tlccoaching@gmail.com and put in subject heading Wellness and Fitness.

LIABILITY DISCLOSURE:

All the links, resources and information on this Blog, My FB Page, and or Websites are from my Personal Experience, Research and my Personal Opinion.  In the end, You decide what resonates for you.

I am not a licensed M.D., or Psychologist . I am a Transformationalist Life Coach, Interfaith Minister, & Personal Business Consultant and have studied Massively in all areas of the Mind, Body, and Spirit - Everything from Philosophy, Psychology, Theology, Nutrition, Overall Wellness, Fitness, Metaphysics etc... and have numerous Certifications to back that up along with my LIFE experience in the field since 1982 when I started working in the Medical Field that evolved into the Business, Metaphysical, Healing, and Wellness field.

All advice and or exercises I have provided in this Blog, My FB Page, and or Websites I have actually done, lived and still live and I have taught to hundreds of Private clients.

I am not being paid to endorse anyone’s links, books, advice, or products.

All of the resources listed, I have Read, Studied, and Used First on myself and then with clients. I am providing them here for Your Exploration and Growth of Mind, Body and Spirit, and Ultimately it is up to you to CHOOSE what best suits you.

Be sure to consult with your OWN Physician before starting any Exercise or Nutrition program.  Carly Alyssa Thorne

*Transformations Life Center

*Transformations Life Coaching

*Transformations Life Productions

Copyright ©2007 Carly Alyssa Thorne

Who do you have in Your Life, that helps hold you accountable ?

The World of Self-Development Courses

Integrity ???  Yes ???

No ???

I have had many people ask me why I left California in 2004, and moved to Hawaii, and haven't really talked about it much... Very few know the real reason, and due to many "NDA" -Non disclosure agreements I can't say specifics, however, I will address some HUGE why's as is related to this article.

Having been on and off the stage in Numerous facets in my life from Acting, Modeling, Speaking, Producing and Directing etc... and having been an Executive Personal Assistant to CEO's, Families, and Speakers and having growing up overseas myself with a father who was a High level CEO, I can talk from direct experience about the many integrity issues within these worlds.

Now let me "PRE-FRAME" this with I was NOT born with a Silver Spoon in my mouth, in the way ONE would think, having had a father who was a High level CEO.  My family LIFE was more of a Disney "Cinderella" movie minus the happy ending... I have lived in Mansion's with body guards, drivers, maids etc... and I have lived in the middle of the jungle in an octagon, off of the land with an out house...  I have also lived strictly doing Barter.  

One of the things growing up overseas and going to MANY schools, traveling all of the time, being in a highly dysfunctional family which is an ENTIRE book in itself -did do for me was get me Clear on a FEW MAJOR KEY LIFE LESSONS and POINTS... which will tie back to the Speaker Industry and Courses and Integrity...

ONE- You can have all of the MONEY in the WORLD and that does not Guarantee: top Education, Health, a Happy, Loving home life, nor does it mean you are SAFE...

TWO- Adapt, Adjust, Absorb to everything and everyone. Be open to all points of views, Learn, Play and Grow constantly...  I learned a TON from my environment, all the different cultures, races, monetary levels etc... 

THREE- The biggest classroom and education is through actual LIVING and DOING, NOT just a formal education.

FOUR- You are Your biggest Asset... Fight for Yourself, advocate for Yourself, because nobody else will do it for You.  I am NOT saying be a LONE Island, I am Passionate about "TEAMWORK"- what I am saying is YOU need to Create Your Team, Your Family, Speak when nobody else will and get the Help you may need...  

Another PRE-FRAME... I am NOT advocating being Vocally Loud, protesting etc... I have learned that those that are LOUDLY screaming about Politics and this and that, Energetically are NO better than the people creating war etc...  

I PERSONALLY, believe what we focus on expands and that everything is Vibration thus we draw to ourselves that which we are vibrating AND... that it is a blend of environment, circumstance, paths, upbringing, family etc... 

HOWEVER... at some point if we don't take charge and accountability for OUR OWN lives, our pasts, our mistakes, circumstances, playing the VICTIM- the sick, poor, rape, etc... card will only serve to take you deeper into despair and hopelessness...  Not that I don't empathize or understand those positions and or feelings... I have been there... in more ways than one... Again another book...  So back to the Speaking Industry and Integrity...


The self-development industry in as big as the Weight loss industry. All of the books, CD's, Courses, Speakers, Products, everybody wanting the "Secret", "The Quick Fix", the "Magic Pill" 

You go to a Seminar, and there are these AMAZING speakers on stage with their AWESOME stories of this and that... I used to be Poor, I lived on the street, I was unhealthy, overweight etc... etc... etc... and NOW look at Me... Then of course there are the TESTIMONIES...  Great... NOW... That's talk Statistics, Tactics, and Sales...

Now would YOU buy or mentor from someone who: claimed that they could make you a MILLIONAIRE if they had never been one... Or teach you about Health and Fitness when they are on stage with a pot belly...  I personally wouldn't, to me that is like a "Priest" no offense, Counseling about Marriage and kids when the Priest has never been married or had a child.  Thankfully Pastors in some faiths are now allowed to experience marriage and children.
Now back to my point...

I left the industry because I got Soooo... beyond tired of seeing, hearing, and working for people who would say ONE thing on stage and the minute they got off the stage and or work, in their private lives the VERY thing they were Charging and or getting paid THOUSANDS for they would be doing and or saying the EXACT Opposite... 

AND...  because statistics show that 85% of the participants when they GOT home the Courses they bought - which were sold using the "SCARCITY TACTICS" The first 50 people who get back to the table now, will get these ADDED Bonuses etc... etc... etc...  NEVER got used, they would wind up on the bookshelves not EVEN opened and or read... AND... most of these people were THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of DOLLARS in debt from all the courses they have purchased in hopes of this or that...  

I have heard these Stories over and over...  When in the seminar environment there is all of this HIGH level of Energy etc... however, once people get home the very environment and life that has created their issues are RIGHT smack in their face the very next morning, and they go right back into their old patterns and or ruts... 

This is what I Would LOVE to see in the self-development industry and what I have done when personally Consulting, Mentoring and or Coaching...   Why Not instead of Focusing on getting THOUSANDS into a seminar twice a year, focus on getting Hundreds into a Seminar many more times a year... and...  Why not Package into the programs the accountability Coaching...  Personally when I work with a company and or client, I want to know that they are actually going to USE and Implement  what I just taught them or the blue print I put together for them.

Yes, a lot of the big seminar companies do have Coaching Programs however, most participants don't get the coaching, because it is an ADDITIONAL Cost... What I am saying is - WHY is it extra ??? Why NOT have all programs come with the accountability coaching ??? 

What is accountability coaching:
-There are various blue prints for accountability coaching, another article.
-The ones I have found to be more successful are the ones that are NOT OVERLY time consuming and are Team oriented, not just the one on one coaching.  And... are beyond just the Mastermind Teleconference calls etc...

Bottom line, I have massively studied and taken, crewed, volunteered and worked on MANY, many programs... and done a lot of research and this is what I have discovered:
-People are tired of everything being automated
-People are tired of all of the endless conference calls
-People are Starved for HUMAN interaction
-People want RESULTS that are NOT going to REQUIRE massive time and money...
-NOT all people are the same, meaning the programs need to be Tailored to that specific person and or company. Some people learn best by reading, others by listening, others by doing etc... 

After being asked over and over and over by some clients I decided to take on another project... Putting together a unique blue-print that is TEAM oriented that has LOTS Of human interaction that DOES  NOT require massive amounts of time and can be tailored to the specific needs to individuals and or a team.

The ONE key secret I have found that works magic is, believe it or not; is DAILY interaction - however... the daily interaction is a very small amount of time, yet serves to maintain the accountability factor and then adding in the weekly interaction to anchor the daily interactions... the daily interactions is a mere 15 minutes a day, and the weekly interaction is just an hour a week or more if Needed depending on the tasks and or outcome the person and or company is seeking...  The rest is a Recipe that is being cooked as we speak...

WOULD LOVE your thoughts and or experiences within the HUGE World of
Self-development courses... And if you have any WISHES AND OR IDEAS or suggestions that you would LIKE to see developed within the Self-Development Course World.... Please let me know... All Feedback is Welcome...

"We are the Actors/Actresses, Writers, Editors, Producers, Directors, Co-Creators of Our Lives, we can create anything, anytime... Let's Do it."  

Carly Alyssa Thorne

Another Midnight Production - The Muses of Carly Alyssa Thorne © 2012