Saturday, September 8, 2012

CHOOSE YOU... Your Voice is Powerful...

SO- I got a lot of interesting and inspiring emails and responses to my blog article called:
WHO DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE THAT HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE...



CHOOSE YOU... Your crap only defines YOU If you LET IT... AT some point YOU are going to have to CHOOSE what You want in Your LIFE and WHO YOU want to be... It is WHAT YOU DO with Your Past crap that matters... WHAT TO YOU CHOOSE ???


Addressing in particular my sharing of bits of my life, so the Link above is the whole article and I have put in " BOLD QUOTES" below the areas that I got quite a few emails on.  I felt it might be good to address some of it for EMPOWERING others to realize that YOUR Voice is a CHOICE...


"Now let me "PRE-FRAME" this with I was NOT born with a Silver Spoon in my mouth, in the way ONE would think, having had a father who was a High level CEO.  My family LIFE was more of a Disney "Cinderella" movie minus the happy ending... I have lived in Mansion's with body guards, drivers, maids etc... and I have lived in the middle of the jungle in an octagon, off of the land with an out house...  I have also lived strictly doing Barter.  

One of the things growing up overseas and going to MANY schools, traveling all of the time, being in a highly dysfunctional family which is an ENTIRE book in itself -did do for me was get me Clear on a FEW MAJOR KEY LIFE LESSONS and POINTS... which will tie back to the Speaker Industry and Courses and Integrity...


ONE- You can have all of the MONEY in the WORLD and that does not Guarantee: top Education, Health, a Happy, Loving home life, nor does it mean you are SAFE...


TWO- Adapt, Adjust, Absorb to everything and everyone. Be open to all points of views, Learn, Play and Grow constantly...  I learned a TON from my environment, all the different cultures, races, monetary levels etc... 


THREE- The biggest classroom and education is through actual LIVING and DOING, NOT just a formal education.


FOUR- You are Your biggest Asset... Fight for Yourself, advocate for Yourself, because nobody else will do it for You.  I am NOT saying be a LONE Island, I am Passionate about "TEAMWORK"- what I am saying is YOU need to Create Your Team, Your Family, Speak when nobody else will and get the Help you may need...  


Another PRE-FRAME... I am NOT advocating being Vocally Loud, protesting etc... I have learned that those that are LOUDLY screaming about Politics and this and that, Energetically are NO better than the people creating war etc...  


I PERSONALLY, believe what we focus on expands and that everything is Vibration thus we draw to ourselves that which we are vibrating AND... that it is a blend of environment, circumstance, paths, upbringing, family etc... 


HOWEVER... at some point if we don't take charge and accountability for OUR OWN lives, our pasts, our mistakes, circumstances, playing the VICTIM- the sick, poor, rape, etc... card will only serve to take you deeper into despair and hopelessness...  Not that I don't empathize or understand those positions and or feelings... I have been there... in more ways than one... Again another book...  So back to the Speaking Industry and Integrity..."


A FEW THINGS have always stuck out for me in all of my years of on going Choices, Empowering of self and others and on going Research.  I want to address some of the key comments I have heard others receive, and comments and or experiences I myself personally received, even from direct relatives... 


So let me share a bit more about what Judgement people go thru and why a lot of people DON'T get out, or get help...

***PREFRAME*** I will be SHARING MY PERSONAL Experience and my Personal Opinions...

I am not a licensed M.D., or Psychologist . I am a Transformationalist Life Coach, Interfaith Minister, & Personal Business Consultant and have studied Massively in all areas of the Mind, Body, and Spirit - Everything from Philosophy, Psychology, Theology, Nutrition, Overall Wellness, Fitness, Metaphysics etc... and have numerous Certifications to back that up along with my LIFE experience in the field since 1982 when I started working in the Medical Field that evolved into the Business, Metaphysical, Healing, and Wellness field.

So here are some comments that I personally have received and experienced from close friends and relatives and have been told by other clients, women and men of issues that they too had to deal with. AND... even with all of this said because I COMPLETELY understand... at SOME POINT You are going to have to CHOOSE YOU... So read on...


A.***You must have liked the abuse because, if it was truly that bad, you would have found a way to get out...  you would have left.


B.***You had a wealthy family, therefore You could have gotten the help you needed...

C.***Why didn't you say anything...

D.***Some people don't have a choice, they have no money, support and or education...

E.***If you don't have money or resources there is NO way out...

F.***Didn't you realize what type of person he was before you married him or got involved...

G.***What... I don't buy that for a minute, I have met him and he isn't like that at all, you are just worrying about nothing...

H.***Your family doesn't believe anything you are saying, and You are the crazy one...

I will address each one as briefly as I can, as the topic of any abuse is a HOT one and I do not want to stir up a hornets nest... I want to address some KEY buttons and share WHY "CHOOSING YOU" and taking charge and accountability for YOUR LIFE... is sooo important...

A*** First of all what most people do NOT understand about abusive situations is the MOST dangerous and violent times are when You are planning your escape and or are reaching out for help.  You know how when a Dog senses your fear...  usually the abusers sense when you are up to something, and become much more controlling and or are supervising your every move and or are have others watch you for them...  

An example: When my ex-husband was literally following me around and even verbally threatened a counselor at a church, that if she helped me, he would off her, or the one time, he said to me while putting a gun to my head:
"I will never give you a divorce, if I can't have you, nobody can... I will kill you, kill myself, and then burn the house down." 

B*** Ah... Yes MONEY can solve everything... NOT... Believe it or NOT having a ton of MONEY can actually HIDE and BUY a lot of SILENCE, so that nobody knows what is going on inside the compound... so to speak.  And... in my experience, when there is a lot of money or people are WELL known or famous they don't want others knowing they have problems and don't want to be embarrassed etc...  

An example: Putting their kids in a Private hospital so nobody finds out stating that their child was mentally unstable or had drug issues... Sending their child away...  Saying their child was asking for trouble they hung out with the wrong crowd and was promiscuous etc... etc... etc...

C***I Love this one... Why didn't you say anything... Hm... 99% of the time people have, and nobody believed them or if they did say anything they GOT in more trouble, because the parents felt embarrassed that they didn't realize something was wrong, or didn't want others to find out, or just where in plain DENIAL...  

An example: I once told one of my teachers in 4th grade some of the things that were going on and they went and told my parents and I was blasted, called a liar, and HOW dare I embarass them like that... 

D*** and E*** Economic status and having NO resources has no barring on Abuse... bottom line if You want something badly enough I don't care if you have to CRAWL, like a drug addict having to bottom out, when you get so sick and tired of being sick, tired, bruised, abused, and wanting nothing more than to JUST DIE... ONE DAY you will have to make a CHOICE... Living or Dying... at some point you will have to CHOOSE Living and YOU... even if that means taking a RISK SOOOO BIG you might Die and lose everything You are, have and more... 

An Example: I had been secretly for 6 months complying evidence on the abuse and keeping detailed dates, times and records and had to hide everything and took the risk of bringing it to a counselor I had begun to trust at a Church, and said to her one day, here is everything you need to know, if I don't wake up alive one morning, you will know why.  I won't go into major details here- except that resulted in me losing EVERYTHING, my house, all of my money, my family, friends and more... However I finally CHOOSE ME, I stood up for myself even though I knew the cost would be EVERYTHING and it was...

F*** Most abusers are MASTER manipulators and smooth talkers.
When I met my Ex... he was at the same job for over 18 years, his family was amazing, he didn't drink, I lived with him for over a year... Then I bought a house and he moved into my house and my Life as I knew it was no more... I was now in HELL if you will...

G***Again amazing manipulators... my friends thought he was AWESOME... they didn't believe for a minute he was following me around, or keeping tabs on me, or controlling every aspect of my life etc... The web of lies were amazing...

H***Family denial and You are crazy...  No way and if it is that bad, why don't you leave... You have always been picky, you are the one with the problem etc... etc....

In all of the interviews I have done with people of all races, economic statuses, counselors, Pastors etc... The most common themes are:
People are afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, don't think anyone will believe them, are in such depression, fear, despair.... they just give up etc... get stuck on the HOW to get away... WHERE do I go... WHO do I trust... I can't... Nobody believes me... etc... etc... etc... and I too felt all of those same feelings and had the same questions...  


And at some point... You will have to Choose... 
LIFE OR DEATH...
Which do you Choose ???
Be willing to RISK Everything...
Be willing to FIGHT for yourself....
Be willing to say I don't care what others think....
Be willing to reach out and trust someone...
Be willing to NOT know how...
Be willing to have nothing...
Be willing to go where you have never gone before...
Be willing to LET GO of everyone and everything that NO LONGER
serves YOU...
Be willing to Run, Walk or CRAWL if you have to...
Just CHOOSE YOU....
You are worth it...
Others are waiting for the gift of YOUR Voice...
Your Unique gifts, your unique wisdom you have to offer the world...
We all have a Past...
We all have had issues...
So what...
Who cares...
If You aren't willing to put it all OUT there, the skeletons will come back to
haunt you...
Be willing to be HONEST...
Authentic...
Use your story not to become a LABEL... a statistic...
Use it to EMPOWER others...
To say YES You can...

Another Midnight Production and The Muses of Carly Alyssa Thorne

All Rights Reserved - Copyright ©2012 Carly Alyssa Thorne







7 comments:

  1. I love this, so empowering, thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, there is lot of abuse and beatings going on in houses in secret. Specially when fathers are drunk they may beat up there wife and kids. But the kids and wife won't tell anyone for fear of social repercussions. That way the situation only gets worse. I don't really know what to do in such situations. what is the best way to handle if you know someone is having such problems?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best thing you can Do Zapric is attempt to get them help with people that understand the situation and get them safe...

      Delete
  3. Thanks Simone and Gina... Have a great weekend

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very powerful stuff Carly. And it's so true there is always a choice. It may not be a choice you ideally want to make but it is a choice nonetheless.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the Time to Read our Post...

All feedback is welcome as it gives us the opportunity to Learn, Play, and Grow each and every day...

"We are the Actors/Actresses, Writers, Editors, Producers, Directors, Co-Creators of Our Lives, we can create anything, anytime... Let's Do it." Carly Alyssa Thorne